Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in lilclipper's LiveJournal:

Saturday, January 28th, 2006
9:05 am	Take the quiz: Which Witch from Bewitched Are You? (based on TV show, with pics!) Endora (Agnes Moorehead) You're Endora! Endora is the flamboyant and theatrical queen of the acidic comeback and put down - especially where 'Durwood' is concerned. But she is a loving mother and an adoring grandmother - who wouldn't want a grandma like Endora?! Life would never be dull with Endora around...</p> a quiz by catz-eyes Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook! (Comment on this)
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
4:50 pm	THIS WAY UP á lilclipper has fragile contents which may break! Username: From Go-Quiz.com (Comment on this)
4:36 pm	this & that it's been a while since i wrote here. i was still in sunny isles beach, which is sandwiched betw/ bal harbor on the south and hallandale to the north. i've been enjoying a lot of the posts on my friends' pages but i've been too lazy to write. i find it interesting and refreshing that there are so many different subjects that are discussed in these pages. last week i joined an online dating service. i've found it remarkable how many men are in a similar spot psycho-emotionally. how many find me attractive. how many are into grey hair. all of this is as tonic to my weary soul. meanwhile, 4" of snow today. i shoveled my steps and walks. last time we got a snowfall i had the flu and really wasn't able to shovel, so the snow and ice just stayed treacherously on the steps and walks until mother southwind took it all away. so i'm glad i don't have to worry about breaking my neck (or any other body part) just by stepping out the front door. at least so far it hasn't gone back to bitter cold--mid-30's today, no wind, so you can live with it. but please spare me february. please! Current Mood: pondering, & thoughtful Current Music: 8 miles out: 'blues and greens' (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
9:07 am	beach photography yesterday was a totally fabulous day. bright and sunny all day long except for a few clouds mid-afternoon. but there was no wind, so even in the clouds it was still warm. found out, by asking a guy who strolled onto the nude part wearing one, that it is legal on this beach, this town, to wear a g-string. also, women can go topless anywhere along the beach, not just the naked part. so i walked back to the motel in my canary yellow gee. what a feeling! nothing covered but mr unit. it felt amazing. later that nite i went for a beach stroll in the same thing. a few of the more uptite motel guests at poolside raised their eyebrows both as i left and as i returned. tough. they were fully clothed and clearly have NO idea what they're missing. during the day, as i strolled naked in the surf, there was a couple taking pix. one guy in the water, the other shooting the photos. as i usually do in such situations, i asked if he wanted one of them together. as they usually do, he smiled broadly and handed me the camera. so i took a couple pix of the two of them, verrry happy to have these pix. what made it kind of memorable is that they were both wearing just their underpants. they were both cute, mid- to late 20s. the one in the water had on dark briefs. but the one w/ the camera had on tighty-whiteys. and they had been swimming in them. soooo, WET tighty-whiteys. i think that is so hot. he had a nice, long, uncut dick, which was very plain to see. fun for me and fun for them. gotta go get into my gee to get to the sand. and then get naked. i'll be there in 15. later. Current Mood: and eager Current Music: starbucks, wilson pickett: midnite hr (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
9:18 am	travellin' nekkid i'm in sunny isles beach, fl, at the starbucks wifi place rite now. i got here yesterday in time to have a few afternoon beach hours. it is unbelievably exhilirating to be naked at the beach and have it be completely legal. one end of it is gay, and it's nice feeling kind of like being in the majority. yesterday there was this pair of "mature" men--late 60's, i'd guess. they both had pierced penises. what was odd was that they weren't just simple prince alberts or something like that. they were HUGE contraptions, looked like they were aluminum in order to be lighter than that much steel. and they appeared to be interlocking! like two pieces of a puzzle. i can't EVEN imagine what games they play with those things, but they must be interesting. looks like the morning haze is about gone, so i'm going back to the motel, getting out of everything i legally can, walking 4 minutes to the beach, and getting out of EVERYTHING. what a rush. Current Mood: & feeling liberated Current Music: whatever's on starbuck's muzak (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 8th, 2006
3:38 pm	travel plans. yippee! i am packing--actually, doing laundry--for my trip to florida tomorrow. i have an early flight, so i will be on the beach in my birthday suit by about 2 o'clock. i go to haulover beach, just north of miami. great, inexpensive motel a 4-min. walk (in flip-flops) to the fence beyond which public nakedness is good. the motel kind of caters to nudists, so it's nice. pretty much everybody is there to do the same thing, so you don't feel freaky. i'll be there a week. i was to have had company, but he chose not to come. part of this ongoing silent treatment he's been giving me. yeah, yeah, get over it, you say. sometimes i can. other times i cannot. like on this half-sunny, half-overcast, late afternoon, melancholy new england day, while i am packing by myself for a trip that we should be going on together. he has even told his sister not to pick up the phone when i call, which i did this afternoon. she's like him and has the cell phone glued to her ear, so the 44 rings before the answerer took over were plenty long enough to get it if she had wanted. sigh. it is the bewilderment that is weighing on me. clearly i must have done something horrible to deserve this treatment--if, indeed, i do--but there's no way i can even try to make up for it or even apologize if i don't know where to begin. and he holds the key to that door. maybe i'll have a fling on the beach in florida. well, not actually ON the beach; that's not legal. (although last time i was there, in march, a couple of guys did start in after the lifeguards left for the day ay 5:00. quite the show they presented.) but you know what i mean. ;-0) it has happened in the past, so i suppose it could again. meanwhile my shrink is coming in to his office tonite (sunday)to see me, because even w/ the boosted anti-depressants (plural) that he added in a few weeks ago, i am still not working my way out of this sadness as fast as i would like. the worst thing about that is that i don't feel horney very much, whereas i would always get it off at least 2 and sometimes 3 times a day before this all came about. had a good romp w/ lucy (8 month old afghan puppy) earlier today in a local park. she goes absolutely NUTS in the snow. of course, this is her first winter, so *everything* is new. it is soo amusing; sometimes i just laugh out loud at her antics. i have been letting her off the leash in places where i think it's safe (regrettably we don't have a dog park near here.), and so far she has not transgressed. nor did she today. she is verrry smart. in the park around the corner from my house, which i have mentioned before, she once ran a little too close to the river wall than i liked, so i made it clear she shouldn't go over there again, and, sweet little girl that she is, she hasn't. a friend will be caring for the menagerie while i'm gone. i hope lucy gets enough exercise. i have been tanning almost every day this week so i'll be ready for the real stuff next week. did so after playing w/ lucy. looking pretty dark for me, and i hope there'll be no sunburn. so, leavin' on a jet plane. i know when i'll be back again. and i SHALL have fun. Current Mood: and bewildered Current Music: strauss: also sprach zarathustra (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 6th, 2006
7:37 pm	emotional reassurance i went to a club last nite where they have gogo boys dancing and, sometimes, working the room. this is in a city that doesn't allow complete nudity or physical contact, especially sexual. one of them seemed to find me attractive, because he kept coming over to where i was at the bar after his sets were over. he did this 3 times. what was curious was that the first time he did it i hadn't even tipped him yet, so for all he knew i was some big cheapskate. something must have attracted him. each time he was wearing less until the last time, just boots and a scanty g-string. whoa! (check my interests page. the only thing that could have been better is if the g-string was see-thru, but that's not legal here.) he let me give him a hand job the last two times, the first time starting outside the g-string and wriggling in, the last time totally inside the g-string. man, did he ever bone right up. good size dick and lovely soft, pendulous scrotum. it was pretty erotic to me, (obviously something about it turned him on, too.) but it was also almost funny, because just as he was getting so obviously excited, someone came over to talk to him. took us both by surprise. he (gogo boy) was facing me, so no one could actually see the contact, but i guess conclusions could have been drawn. he was struggling to keep it in his pants, literally, greet this other guy, be cool, and adjust a boner to fit in a place where it couldn't, all while not seeming to do that or call any attention to his crotch, and looking cool at the same time. if he had had to go onstage right then he would have been illegal, because the g-string barely held him in soft; it certainly didn't when he got hard. talk about tenting tonite! so that gave me a good feeling about myself, that some people can find me attractive. especially someone as beautiful as this guy is--gym time 5 days a week, and man, does it show! and feel. ripped and hard body that i couldn't take my hands off of. tall and lanky w/ a sweet smile. we exchanged email addresses. i guess we'll see what happens along the way. that's all for now. Current Mood: and happy in general Current Music: handsome boy modeling school: sunshine (3 Comments |Comment on this)
12:48 pm	another stupid quiz Your Social Dysfunction: Schizotypal You display social deficits and oddities of thinking. Your perception and communication are similar to those of a schizophrenic. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results. Current Mood: just kinda blah Current Music: fabolous: i'm so into you (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 5th, 2006
7:15 pm	100% !! so this is how this worked out You scored as The all-round cute gay guy. YOu are a cute guy who many would die to be with..........lucky!! </td> The all-round cute gay guy 100% S + M guy 80% A Big Bear 70% Raging Queer 70% Straight Acting 60% Straight 30% Straight Queer Basher 20% What type of Gay are YOU? created with QuizFarm.com Current Mood: and a bit melancholic Current Music: minus the bear: pachuca sunrise (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
9:24 pm	guess i'll move along i don't mean to sound like the proverbial broken record (and what is the equivalent of that in the age of the cd?) but this relationship conundrum has me waaaay down again. on monday he sent me an email saying he would call me, that we would see each other this week. that made me happy. of course, i conveniently forgot that he had promised to call every week since thanksgiving, which he did kind of in style not substance, and we would see each other for a few hours only. a few hours each week. i replied to the email honestly, telling him that i was happy he was in touch and that i was looking forward to his call. so far nothing. but it gets worse. when i checked my cell phone this afternoon, it said "5 missed messages at 3:31 a. freaking m." A, not P. he is absolutely the ONLY one i know who at this point in his/her life would call at that hour except in dire emergency. listened to the messages. four of the five seemed to be from him--he identified himself by name. unfortunately my verizon does not time/date stamp voice mail, so i couldn't be totally sure that it was his call. but i swear, when i checked it yesterday afternoon, i had no missed messages. so i called him back and explained all that. he lives w/ his cell phone permanently attached to his ear, so he knew it was me calling. i.e., it wasn't that he had put it down somewhere and forgotten it. and it rings about a dozen times before it flips over to the voicemail. so he had plenty of time to see who was calling and deliberately chose not to pick up. and on the extremely remote chance that i'm wrong about that, he has not returned my call, and it's been about 6 hours. then, to make the hurt worse, he signed on to aim a bit later while i was playing a computer game. he knew i was there. nothing. not even a simple "hi, clipper." slowly i am coming to grips w/ the realization that this is how he's going to be, and i just have to deal with it. i haven't been this lovesick in years! i think it's why i had made myself not love anyone for many years, to avoid the hurt again. but i think i'm getting better. i had my shrink goose my anti-depressants, and i've been on the increased dose for about 2 weeks. i think it's starting to kick in. so, i've decided i'll go to nyc for new year's without him. (he was invited and had said yes but apparently is not planning to go and has not informed me of his decision.) i will go to florida as we planned in january, and he can take advantage of the ticket i've already bought for him or not as he chooses. there's really not anything else i can do. so i'm starting to move on. sorry to unload like this, but it feels good to get it off my chest. if you've read this far, thanks for listening. or whatever. Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: spoon: i turn my camera on (1 Comment |Comment on this)
1:24 pm	post-solstice, perceptible lengthening plus a leap second it is pretty easy to understand why humans of antiquity would have ceremonial feasting and celebration around the 25th of december in the northern hemisphere. although we know intellectually that the daytime grows longer after winter solstice, it (the 25th) seems to be just about the 1st day after the solstice when one can actually perceive w/ the naked eye, so to speak, the ever-so-slight lengthening of the day. in other words, that one has the gut feeling that the day is growing longer. if the sun is out, shadows lean at a perceptibly different angle. sunlight striking the atmosphere seems to make the sky a slightly different--hopeful and impatient for spring skies?--shade of blue. (i think i remember from jhs art class that one speaks of shade when one is darkening a color, but the proper term for lightening is tint. or maybe it's the other way around. that was a long time ago. anyway, i've never heard anyone speak of a lighter *tint* of blue.) and the sun has seemed to have climbed barely perceptibly higher in the southern sky. the official timekeeper, the u.s. naval observatory, will add a leap second on new year's day. this marks another inevitable and inexorable step towards the death of the planet. of course if we don't begin treating nature's gifts more kindly, mutter erde may be defunct well before the seconds-subtraction process has time to play itself out. one example: i saw on a documentary (i'm addicted) last nite that when a c-5 cargo jet flying troops/supplies to iraq is refueled, it eats up 300,000 pounds of fuel. and one assumes it must have burned nearly that much already to have gotten where it is. i wonder how many miles the average car could travel on that amount of gas. i don't know how long we think we can keep this rate of consumption up, but i know this: it isn't forever. and it ain't just oil. gee, lemme think now. what industry did our president come from? and what industry did our vice-president come from? which cabinet official was a director of citgo? and who bailed out bush's failing oil company, was that halliburton? and what company has received billions in NO-BID contracts to clean up the mess from this war-by-choice they whimsically started? was that halliburton, too? wait, wait? isn't halliburton the company that cheney was ceo of? hmmmmm. well, i certainly didn't expect this journey, starting from where it did, would end up here. but it did. so there. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 26th, 2005
9:07 pm	still too much time on my hands Handwriting Personality Quiz What does your handwriting say about YOU? The results of your analysis say: You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry. You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones. You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present. You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody! You are self-confident and like to bring attention to yourself. http://handwriting.feedbucket.com/ Current Mood: somewhat bemused by it all (Comment on this)
4:19 pm	these quizzes are fun, and i have too much time on my hands but it appears i need to maybe rethink some of my responses. snobby? i waaay more prefer italian to french. i drink beer (peroni. see? italian.)and wear jeans. is it even possible to be snobby when those two characteristics are essential personality traits? save me from myself. pleeeeease. You Are French Food Snobby yet ubiquitous. People act like they understand you more than they actually do. What Kind of Food Are You? Current Mood: giddy (Comment on this)
4:02 pm	relief of tension nooo, not THAT kind of tension. get your filthy mind out of the gutter! i just got a sweet, loving, apologetic email from n. so most of the Sturm und Drang of my 1st post is obviated. he had a pretty plausible explanation: 1) seasonal blues/blahs. (i can relate to that in spades, esp. w/ my b-day on the 25th--one personal year gone by one day, and one calendar year gone by the next week. makes it seem like time is truly flying.) 2) needed some space. (i can understand that, too, as i can be kind of a smotherer [rhymes w/ motherer]) 3) to quote, "IT ISN'T YOU...." (in fairness, he has said this to me before. but i'm so insecure i either can't or don't believe it when he says it, and by the time another applicable situation arises, i've forgotten that he said it. maybe this time i'll remember.) in any event, i have a smile on my face for the 1st time in at least a week, other than when i was laughing at my puppy's antics. we might see each other tonite, first time in 10 days or so. it would be good if we do, not tragic if we don't, unlike how i've felt each nite of the previous 10. so what a relief! it was good to unload that pile o' dung. if you've read this far, thanks for listening. later, clipper Current Mood: verging on ecstatic Current Music: bach: motet for double choir, "komm, jesu, komm" (Comment on this)
4:01 pm	i'm an ANIMAL! You Were a Giraffe You are a high achiever - able to reach things others can't. A great communicator, you are good at getting past superficialities. What Animal Were You In a Past Life? Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
12:46 pm	i don't know if this will work. but here goes......... Your results: You are Spider-Man Spider-Man 95% Superman 85% Supergirl 83% Green Lantern 70% The Flash 65% Iron Man 65% Wonder Woman 63% Robin 60% Hulk 45% Catwoman 45% Batman 30% You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility. Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 25th, 2005
9:46 am	snotty windows i have a puppy i got last summer, an afghan hound, who is as sweet and adorable as any creature on earth. she's about 8 months old now. she doesn't know it but she's getting some really nice, really primo, really expensive roast beef for xmas dinner (of course so am i, but that's beside the point, really.) (isn't it?) anyway, behind my house there is a park w/ some woodland--mostly grass and riverbank, but some woods. so lots o' squirrels. she goes bonkers when she's on the couch looking out the windows that overlook the park and a squirrel or a neighbor's cat comes by. the squirrels run along the top of my fence. she barks and howls and MADLY paws at the windows. i swear that both species delight in taunting her, stopping right in front of the windows and twitching their little tails or cleaning their whiskers, prolonging her frenzy and giving them some nice safe smug satisfaction. the 1st time she did it, i was afraid she was going to break a window she was pawing so hard. i suppose it is some kind of sublimated running. but it is cute in 2 ways: her actual physical motions, and the fact that her learning curve--although she is a verrry smart dog--w/ respect to this activity seems to be zero. sometimes i let her out so she can have a little chase, but the squirrels are psychic: every time we've gone out, the squirrels have already fled. anyway, the snotty windows part: this morning, as i came down the stairs, the rare sun, which we in massachusetts see all too infrequently during these months, was hitting the windows at exactly the right angle. i'm not the most punctilious guy in the world about tilting those suckers in and spritzing w/ windex, so they usually have a dingy, grey appearance. no biggy. so, the right angle part. in the sunlight i could see that this was grey and dingy far beyond the expected norm. what to my wondering eyes did appear was the most grotesque atlas of puppy nosetracks crisscrossed by doggy clawmarks. like the afghan puppydog route to Doom-of-Squirrel Land. it was kinda gross but also kinda funny. i'm certainly not gonna clean 'em today. i'll just look at 'em and have a few more chuckles. the other thing i noticed on my way down the stairs: my new timberland clogs were lying topsy-turvy in the middle of the lr floor. now i acknowledge i can be a serious slob, but i don't dump my shoes randomly in the middle of the floor. she's still young enough that, even though she has pretty good excretory function control now, to be safe, i gate her in the kitchen and bathroom zone at night. sometimes she has used the puppy pad overnight, and she is going through a MAD chewing phase and the k/br zone is mostly puppy-proofed. so now the mystery is this: those shoes--bought last month to replace the pair she ATE!--were definitely not there when i went up to bed. so how did she get out of the gates (different doorways, not side by side, hence possibly weak), grab the shoes, scamper about playing with them, drop them randomly, and then GET BACK IN BEHIND THE GATES????! a while back i caught her wriggling under one of them that i had mounted a fraction of an inch too high. i fixed that, plus she's grown and i don't think she fits under in any case. i don't think she's big enough yet to leap over them. i'll probably never know. theories, anyone? merry christmas to all and happy chanukah too. Current Mood: and serene (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, December 24th, 2005
2:56 pm	whipped puppy xmas eve, my 1st entry i feel like a whipped puppy. someone i love has whipped me. only psychologically, not physically, and i am bewildered. i don't know why i was whipped and am still being whipped. 2d xmas in a row he's done something like this to me. refuses to communicate. won't answer his phone. won't speed-dial my number. sparse response to email & im. at least he acknowledged in email & im that he knows he's hurting me. and he apologized. but it would make me extremely happy to talk to him again--it's been over a week. my chest is tight. breathing is a labor. i am silently whimpering like that lonely, whipped puppy. i am on the verge of crying but i won't. that takes more energy than i have to give it. but maybe i wish i could. i read somewhere that there is a chemical component of tears that is physiologically cathartic, and maybe that's what i need. frosting on this cake: tomorrow's my birthday. hohoho. on the positive side: it's sweater weather here in snowy new england. a welcome break from last week's frigidity. i saw someone pushing the reprieve in the supermarket parking lot, walking around in a tee shirt. if ever anyone was tempting fate.... Current Mood: sad Current Music: orff: 'o fortuna' from carmina burana (6 Comments |Comment on this)